Sunday, September 20, 2009

Tips, tricks, and blacking out.

Oh how I love goofing off and doing whatever I want. No obligations, no responsibility...

As you all know I prefer to mouth off, play hooky or be naughty, rather than to save humanity from the greater evil on the planet or GASP! do something purposeful. What can I say, I was born in the projects, south of somewhere, with a drug addicted mother and and absent father.....are you buying any of my bulls**t? Yeh, I have had some problems working on this corner, no one seems to be buying any bullsh**t these days, probably the economy. Despite my desperate attempts to dodge, shake off, and elude my audience (does anyone actually read this blog?) I have come to the conclusion I can no longer avoid and escape the ruthless tactics to cheat my attention span.

I had a strategy. A plan of sorts to swindle my way out of this obligation and responsibility. EH! I hate the word Responsibility. When I signed up for this blog, if it can be deemed worthy of such, I guess I made a pact; (though I took it with less than a grain of salt.) But I KNEW it would come to this. I KNEW that the ugly "R" word would resurface, and a decision would have to be made. But like any good designer I simply IGNORED it. Surely it will just go away on it's own, right? My husband swears by this motto, in fact lives by it! If it works for him it will certainly work for me.....But they kept coming. One after another after another, they kept coming. The emails.

Denying any of the "R" word I had a choice to make. Reply to the emails, OR simply ignore them! Yes that is a grand plan. Making decisions is easy! We will ignore them and the "R" word responsibility will just go away. Like a 10 year old watching a movie with a sexy scene my mother would say, "pillows up"! So for the past 6 months I have kept my grimy, stained pillow up to my face. Peeking out occasionally to check the weather, feed the cats and of course, go pee. After all I'd rather enjoy my pillow with, and for good reason, than sell it for $2 dollars to cranky pillow lady!!

F-I-N-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I have rejected and dismissed my obligations long enough. And I REALLY need to get this pillow cleaned! So with dragging feet, head slumped down, eyes rolling into the back of my head, and the largest, ginormous SIGH you can EVER imagine, here are some of my tips, tricks, and words of advice on design.....

1) Add stock trim to everyday cabinets. Whether you apply trim to your already existing cabinets, or off the rack cabinets for a new project, adding trim will give you a custom look for little cost.
This simple 1/2" trim on the front, upper cabinets can easily be added to glass, or solid cabinets (see bottom cabinets) This is an easy project and can be done in an afternoon.

2) Paint the inside of bookshelves and cabinets. It creates depth, and allows your accessories to pop. You can also use contact paper, or wall paper to give it a super fun pattern or texture. ( but keep accessories simple if you do this) Select a paint color or paper that compliments your existing decor. Easy to do and can be done in less than an hour

3) Mix and match hardware. GASP! you can do that? YES! You do not have to match every single finish in the house. Mix it up. It gives the house a more refined, collected look, and no so matchy. In this pic we have stainless appliances and oil rubbed knobs. Also the faucet is antique pewter.

4) Use ribbon and upholstery tacks to create a fun easy display space in a hall, kitchen, mud room, or laundry room. Ribbon and upholstery tacks can easily be found at any craft store. Use them to creat a border. You can use a little chalkboard paint, magnetic paint and cork board to put within the makeshift decorative frame. Voila! A great display for the grocery list, kids projects, To-do's and memorable pics. This pic below is not framed with ribbon but could easily be added.

5) Add buttons, trim or fringe to ready made pillows. Pillows can be purchased anywhere. (like the new line offered at Target by Amanda Burdge...*wink*) All craft stores have embellishments, thread, and needles. Pick out your favorites and sew them on. Even if you can't sew this is fail proof. ! Easy peesie, lemon squeezie. Once again, make ready mades custom with a little ingenuity. This pillow and other ideas available at

6) Vodka. Drink plenty of this and EVERYTHING looks better! It can be found at any drugstore, liqueur store, or grocery store. Offered in numerous flavors, and best paired with sprite, seltzer or anything fizzy. As a extra bonus it will make you feel warm and fuzzy, (like that old boyfriend from high school, only better!) and will make all your trumped up worries go away..poof!... like magic!

May cause dizziness, blurred vision, loss of vision, (my eyes! Where are my eyes?!Oh they are right here where I left them...) increased sweating or spitting, forgetful breathing, turning blue and puking green, floppiness, sloppiness and constant crying, amnesia, drooping eyelids, nausea, and love for foreign, germ infested, porcelain toilets. Do not operate heavy machinery while taking vodka as it is known to cause sleepwalking, eating and driving while not fully awake resulting in pregnancy, Vegas marriages, one night stands, and finally, blacking out.


  1. So, I think for now, I will try your last suggestion of Vodka and stick with that! They others are just too taxing for my overwrought and undersoaked Vodka brain right now, but great tipes!!

  2. Hmmm, what would you suggest for a goat house?

    The publicist is building her house. She is thankful for all the tips she can get.

  3. haha, step away from the vodka ! (that leaves more for me) ;)

  4. oh I love your blog! It's eye candy for the visual and fun to read too. Just blog-hopping. Thanks for the wonderful read today!

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